Mitch Hedberg on Cars
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“ I know a lot about cars, I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming. “ |
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
Mitch Hedberg on Fake Plants
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“ My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. “ |
Mitch Hedberg on Carrots
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“ If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up. “ |
Mitch Hedberg on Rice
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“ I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something. “ |
Mitch Hedberg on Carefree Gum
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“ I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. “ |
Mitch Hedberg on Picketing
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“ I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it. “ |
Mitch Hedberg on Microwaves
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“ I don’t have a microwave oven but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit. “ |