Inappropriate Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield on Dark Lighting

Rodney Dangerfield “ My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. “

Zach Galifianakis on Writing a Movie

Zach Galifianakis “ I’m writing a movie. It’s called ‘ Schindler’s List – ‘Let’s Get This Party Started.’ “

Jerry Seinfeld on Ugly People

Jerry Seinfeld “ See, the thing of it is, there’s a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don’t know they’re ugly because nobody actually tells them. “

Zach Galifianakis on His Balls

Zach Galifianakis “ I call my balls the bush twins. “

Andrew Dice Clay “ Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider, he sat down beside her
He said ‘Hey, what’s in the bowl bitch’ “